Hey World... My kids make mistakes !!!

I have learned something about myself recently.

           As a parent I tend to get wrapped up in my children's mistakes. I take responsibility for them, I feel bad about them, and I take it all personally. I forget that they make mistakes to learn, just like I do. Mistakes are not bad things, they are part of life and they are the best teachers. I realized this past week that it's not about me, I need to stand back and let the natural effects of mistakes and consequences take place. I can be there to talk it through and love my children despite their mistakes.

       As a child I remember feeling stupid when I made a mistake. I remember feeling like I needed to be perfect and I just wasn't. I even assumed that I wasn't worth loving because I wasn't perfect. Most of the time when I made a mistake and got in trouble I would think things like "why do I even try" "maybe I should run away" "I should just give up now cuz I'm never gonna make it".  It's important to me that my kids don't feel like giving up on life when they make mistakes. It's part of life and it's an important part of life. All of the real lessons I have learned in my life have been a result of one mistake or another. I tend to beat myself up when I make mistakes which is a natural reaction I think for most people. The real question I forget to ask myself is this - What did I learn and how will I do it differently next time? I also forget to ask my kids that. I always tell them that I love them and that I love them no matter what mistakes they make.

        On this last incident with Kelani, I found my self being angry at and hurt by her because of how it made me feel and how I might look to someone else(?)!  Well guess what... IT's NOT ABOUT ME!!! I don't have to allow myself to be embarrassed when my child is living and learning. And if someone wants to judge me because of the choices or mistakes my kids make, Well I feel sorry for them because they don't get it. We are supposed to make mistakes. It's part of life, if it were possible to achieve perfection in this life, there would be no need for the Atonement.  Jesus Christ was the only man who ever lived who didn't make any mistakes. What in the hell was I doing thinking I could be perfect or expecting for one second for my kids to make all the right choices.

    Sometimes I just need a smack upside the head  - even if it is from myself.
Thanks for reading, I hope my mistake can help you in some way. It has opened my eyes a little wider.

Mother's Day

Well it's mother's day weekend and I'm trying not to think about it so much. Mother's day is such a loaded holiday. So many things go through my head...

How will we work out seeing both moms? (grandma & nana)

What should I get them?

Should I give the kids some money, or let them use their imagination? I wonder if they will bring my breakfast in bed?

Maybe this year I will just show my kids how grateful I am to be a mom. I'll do stuff for them.

Should I go to church? I know there are lots of mom's who don't go to church on mother's day because inevitably you walk away feeling as though you haven't done enough for your kids.

Yes, I think staying home and focusing on the mothers in my life and enjoying my kids for the day, that sounds like a good mother's day to me.

Mother's day is like my birthday. I try so hard not to have expectations, but I think they are built in. I tell my self that it doesn't matter. Then I hear something that someones kids or husband has done for them and I think either - Wow, I'm glad my husband isn't like that, or Wow, why doesn't my family do stuff like that.
The other approach is to take matters into my own hands and tell them what would be nice. I just don't want to have to ask, it takes the spontaneity and the sincerity out of it.
I am really going to try this year to just let it be what it is. Just another Sunday. I love my kids and I am so glad to be a mom, weather I'm good at it or not, I still love doing it.

Spring update

Spring...I love it, it comes with it's challenges but it's way better than winter. I am getting back on track and I'm excited about the future.

Lots of new things going on. We have decided to sell the trailer and the 4 wheeler. The 4 wheeler is already sold and we have the trailer listed. We love camping but we find that we just don't do it enough. It is a little sad we have lots of fun memories with that stuff, but it's only stuff.

We don't have a lot planned this year, DonLee is having a 60th birthday luau with his friend Dick. We will be going to Vegas to celebrate with him. The kids love to go visit "Tatai" it is a nice break from regular routines. We love to see dad, he is so great.

Our nephew Nainoa went into the MTC this week, he is going to serve in Fort worth TX. We are so excited for him and love him so much. We had some great family time with him before he left. He will be missed.

Kelani is finishing 5th grade. It has been a challenging year for her. We are looking forward to 6th grade hoping it will be better. We are trying to help her get ready for Jr. high. It is crazy how fast they grow up. She is at that age where she's still a little girl most of the time but she shows her diva side more and more. She has been taking gymnastics this year. She likes it and is learning lots, I think it is way good for her. She is so loving and is very much a physical touch kind of person. We just love her so much and want her to be happy.

Londen is finishing up with 7th grade, I would say his Jr. high experience has been good thus far. He has a ton of friends, our house is constantly full of kids. It's fun trying to feed them all. Boys are always hungry. We love it though. We love our boys, we have lots of fun joking around with them. Londen has gotten so big, he is taller than me now. I love it. He is so cute. His grades could be better, but we love him regardless.

 I am excited for the easiness of summer to set in. The kids fight more - but it's ok, they fight now and we have to worry about homework and getting to bed early  (by early I mean before midnight) and all that fun stuff. I just don't have as much to worry about in the summer - at least it feels that way.

I am  having a great time with the allergies this year. I don't know if I'm the one getting worse or if the air is worse - it's probably me. I can never tell if all my symptoms are allergy related or if I have a cold on top of them. Zyrtec isn't working this year so I am trying Claritin D, it seems to be doing alright.

I love that the trees are filling out and the grass is greening up, flowers and birds - all that sappy stuff, I just love spring. It is a breath of fresh air.

Happy Love day!

Hi all - its been several monthes, I guess I should say something... Well the holidays were crazy but we made it thru - although I have to say I hoped the parties every weekend would stop at the new year - not so my friend. We have birthdays and then superbowl - life really hasn't slowed down much. January passed quickly for me because it was so busy. That is a good thing, January is my hardest month - I need to change my thinking on that one.
I do appreciate winter for a couple of reasons - I really enjoy a cozy house and snuggle time. I like to stay inside as much as I can and just chill. The other reason is because after a long winter, spring is soooo much sweeter. I look forward to things coming back to life and the rain and the freshness of spring. It's filled with hope and anticipation.
It's valentines week-end and I just want to say I love my family and my friends so very much. I really am grateful for all of the good influences in my life.
Happy Love day!

Friend or Foe?

I ran into a kid I knew when I was young. I'v known him so long I don't remember meeting him for the first time. Our Families were in the same ward when I was born. Ironicly he and I were born about 2 weeks apart. - Anyway I saw him last night when Kaipo and I were out to dinner, I was introduced to him (again) by his cousin- Whom I've only known as an adult, another story another day - Any way I said "Oh I know you" and he said "I don't think I know you" I said "Oh yes you do - we grew up together, I could tell some stories..." So I told him my name and a flood of memories spred over our faces. He then said " I wouldn't have recognized you from when we were kids" - I thought but didn't say the same thing. I then said " Oh good so I'm not the same dorky little kid anymore, Sweet!"
I am just surprized at myself - I didn't used to be confident and whitty - In fact there was a day when I would have totally said something dumb - or second guessed my self for days. I was with my husband so I think he gave me some of that confidence - I'm so proud to have him - he's like my trophy husband- only a million times better.
So heres to you mister - I skipped a grade so I'm better than everyone else - The little people grow up to be healthy, happy, functional adults. I wonder if he regrets or even knows how big of a jerk he was?

A new baby

My brother Dan and his wife Jaime just had their first child, it's a Boy. He was born Oct. 4, 2009 at 1:40 someodd in the afternoon. He's about 7 lbs and healthy as a horse. He is so cute. We are all tickled to have a new baby in the family. His name is Oliver Quincy Adams. Sooooo Cute. I'm reminded so vividly of my kids birth days, wishing I could skip back in time for a moment and relive the wonderous times like that.
Been listening to the Dixie Chicks a lot lately, they have a lullaby called GodSpeed. It is beautiful.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Ff73eZ0i_vw&feature=related

October Update...

It's a new month and things are starting to settle into a routine. I prefer the boring day to day stuff. I would rather not deal with a lot of drama - don't get me wrong there's drama, but it's 5th grade drama and Jr. High drama.
Kelani decided she wanted her hair cut, so we cut it in an A line bob - short

Here's the before.

the after

There you have it. It's cute and it still covers her ears.

I guess one of her classmates decided that she wanted to be just like Kelani so she also cut her hair and tried to match Kelani's outfit from the day before. Kelani was distraut. I tried to tell her that it's a good thing - I never had anyone copy me when I was a kid. I was too much of a goober. But she is still upset. I feel sorry for the other girl, she must really not like being her self. She has blonde hair and is taller than kelani. Kelani said "She's trying to steal my life!!" I told her that was not possible. Maybe when she's older she'll get it. In the mean time I have told her to ignore the other girl if she can't be nice. I guess our next door neighbor, a girl just younger than Kelani also cut her hair short. - Too much drama for me.

Londen doesn't have drama - he's a boy. That is great for me. He has challenges... He has a couple of classes at school that he is struggleing with but that is par for the course. I am doing my best to help him, much of my anxed from jr high is coming back to me. I thought I had blocked it out - no no, it's right there, the feelings for worry, the smells, the heartbreak - all of it. No one told me that you may have to relive your past thru your child. I keep reminding my self that he's different, and his experience is different. I just hope it's different in a good way.

Other than that, not much is going on. It got cold really fast, I hope it will warm up for a few days before we embark on another winter season. It has already snowed. September was such a great month. It was mostly warm and so beautiful - making it hard to let go of summer. The heater is on and working round the clock and we should put some more blankets on the beds. And Sophie hates going out to go potty - so that is going to be fun. I literally have to shove her out the door. I need to cut a doggy door, but I'm not sure she'd use it. She's still cute and I still love her.

Kaipo's schedule continues to be crazy and challenging, but we manage. It's getting easier to transition between the scenarios of  Dad home and Dad not home. There are pro's and cons to both. They are just different experiences.